Ask Me Anything

Advice Column: On Forgiveness

Each month, I share an advice column for paid subscribers. If you have a question you’d like my thoughts on, email: info@yasminecheyenne.com. The goal is to answer as many as I can. And all questions will remain anonymous.

October’s Ask Me Anything

“I’ve experienced something traumatic with a family member, and I have forgiven them (my heart has). Is it possible to have forgiven somebody but still carry heavy emotions and reactions due to the fact that I was severely traumatized from the experiences [ I had]?”

The subject of forgiveness can split a room quickly, like a hot knife through butter. Some people firmly believe in forgiving “to move on.” Others believe forgiveness puts all the work on the victim in the situation, and that it’s not fair. No matter the corner that you feel called to defend on the subject of forgiveness, what I’m certain of is that the discussion brings us front and center with our emotions. And through understanding ourselves we can better understand what we need. To forgive or not to forgive is a personal decision, one that you’ve made for yourself already.

But there are some things you can consider to help you decide your next steps.